oh fuck it all

ive gotta get this out of my system. im well aware that you dont read this, and i dont give a fuck if you never see this, i just need to get it out.
i am fucking BROKEN without you, sitting here listening to death punch thinking about the first time i heard it, on the phone to you for hours and hours, all those fucking hours of talking, sometimes of silence, just being. fuck? bawling my fuckin eyes out because you were fucking IT and my god i gave everything up for you, i just so wanted to be with you. even forgave you for sleeping with her, something i would never do for anyone else. you were it.
everything i listen to reminds me of you. why? all the fucking hours we sat on msn webcamming, talking, all the youtube/facebook/youtube that went on. every fucking song on my goddamn playlist has you written all over it,
that first time i came over, it was like magic. i was just about to not get back on the plane to go home, i fucking cried the whole way home because i was so scared i would never see you again.
we fitted just right? i guess life takes everyone down different roads and fuck.
i know, its over, im better off without you, youre better off without me.
but im not okay. i am not okay without you, knowing i will never see you again, never lie with you in bed watching movies, never sit out on the balcony drinking with you. nothing will be the same for me ever again. its just fuckin shattered me.

i remember when all the games began, remember every little lie and every last goodbye...
promises you broke, words you choked on
and i never walked away
its still a mystery to me

well im so empty
im better off without you
and youre better off without me
youre so unclean,
im better off without you and
youre better off without me.

paint the mirrors black to forget you
i still picture your face
and the way you used to taste
roses in a glass
dead and wilted
to you this all was nothing
everything to you was nothing

...... well as wikid as you are
you're beautiful to me
...... you're the darkest burning star
you're my
perfect
desire

its over.... now.